I think I'm screwed
Last minutes ago, I was checking my own rank in The Shit Ranking SBP. The credible moment was i saw my name on the third to last paper. Damn. I felt damn. Yeah, being the worst student is the shittest experience in my insecure life. I've never got that kind of result before. Ya, before i entered this oh-so-peaceful and calm school. I'm always the topnotch. Maybe because of depression? Stress maybe? OR HORMONES? Anyway, i dont care. I will not give up. I'ts not the time yet. I need to impress myself. Look, i can do it. Its just that, i'm lazy, careless, unready, languorous, drowsy and more.
I'm definitely not gonna graduate with this lazy attitude. Its time for change.
Sang by Colbie Caillat : "But I never told you what I should have said. No, I never told you I just held it in"
So, beware buddies. I'm so going to move on. Wait for me, A's. You'd be flabbergasted as you'd be hearing my results with flying colours. People sleeping, I'd be studying. I promised before. I'll be graduating with happy feels plaster on my face. A laptop as a reward. Ahh, thats heaven.
There's somene said : Hey, What do you need most that you cant touch and feel?
And someone answered : Wifi.
And thats absolutely true. Eventhough, Air is more important. I dont think i can fine happiness if WIFI was not invented. I'll not have the place to write the conditions of my sad life. I'll lose my social life. I'll be a silent person. Believe me. There's once i hang out with my old friends, when i cant touch keyboard. I felt different. I was not me. I fear people. And yeah, Ive that kind of problem.
When peole look at me, i'd be looking down. I'd looking at my dusty and lifeless shoes. I'v got no confidence when people condemn people.
People told me before "Aqil, you're cool. You're the type that will never care when people look down on you. I like it." "Aqil. You're a gangster. I feel secure when i'm with you."
Heck, even I'm me, i felt insecure. And yeah, i dont care. Because i hate people who hurt people's feelings. And i'll never be that kind of people. I'll never be the one that i hated or i'll be hating myself. If people noticed, i rarely get mad eventhough people talked bad about me. Why? Because i dont have the heart to.
They're people. They make mistakes. Its okay. Eventhough i'm lack at confidence, i've a high limit of patience.
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